Discipline Ramblings

Do you feel like your head has been cleared after a spanking? I do. And according to Allan he feels more focused after he spanks me. I think it's because during that time both partners are focused on each other. I'm still holding true to my position that I do not enjoy the pain, but I do like the after-effect on my attitude and my submission and connection to Allan. After a spanking and a good crying I am in a good subby place for a while.

So that begs the question (at least for me). If the spanking is harder, would I feel even better? Let me tell you why I am asking this. Allan and I are in the infant stages of DD. And when we have time to work it, we are amazingly better people, better to one another, more in love, etc... But since we are beginners I have noticed that compared to other bloggers, and some shared spanking photos, it appears I am getting off very easy.

As I'm reading blogs and viewing photos I start to wonder if Allan spanked me like "THAT" how would I be different. And he has wondered it too. We had a short conversation about it a few weeks ago and we both admitted to wondering the same. And Allan admitting he thought it was a conversation we need to start having. That made me nervous but curious too. 

Have you ever wondered the same thing? Is this something you desire or your HOH has mentioned?

Renee

My Interstate Hero

So last night began as a pretty normal night. We were heading to dinner when a tire blew out and we were stranded on the side of the interstate. Allan did what he does and pulled all the necessary tools out to change the tire. I held the flashlight, watching as he starting turning the tire wrench and pulling lug nuts off the tire. Even in the deep South we have a few chilly winters and last night it was even windy and cold (for us, LOL). I was in a skirt and doing my best to be a good helper despite the chilly weather.

But we soon ran into a problem. The lug nuts were stripped because the tire shop had used that big loud air compressed tool to tighten them. So there was no tread to turn them off the tire. I watched as Allan studied the ones he had removed that weren't stripped. He turned them over and over in his hand. Then out came his big pocket knife and some other tools. Long story short....these lug nuts had metal covers on them. I watched as my tarzan man-handled these metal bolts and ripped the metal covers off of them by hand. This was no easy feat. Allan is a big strong guy and it took a great deal of grunting and effort to get them off. When the last one finally ripped open and I watched him pull it off, he smiled up at me from the windy dark interstate. I think a little piece of my heart melted from the smile but a whole bunch of pieces were feeling submissive and girly watching him save the day.

We finally reached the restaurant and had a nice private little booth when he pulled out the new rules list he had been working on yesterday. We had a few verbal rules since starting DD but nothing too concrete yet. I knew this would come eventually, and had even dreaded it a bit. Allan unfolded the paper and started hi-lighting and making notes on it. We (quietly) talked about what he wanted. Now I may have normally had a lot more to say about a few things, but seriously...it's amazing how much one flat tire changed my attitude last night.

I was very receptive and we had an amazing talk. I didn't think I would be ok with rules but I am. So I guess we are beginning a new chapter, the chapter of Renee Rules (oh and quite a few spankable offenses).

My favorite Guy

Here is a little info on my guy Allan. Feel free to copy and share your answers. I decided to do this survey after I saw it on Lilli Clairmonts blog. Thanks Lilli for sharing this was a lot of fun to answer.

1. Name a favorite movie of his.  Do you like it, too?   (if he doesn't have a favorite movie, substitute a TV series)Apocalypse Now - No I don't like it. It is too violent for me. I am more of a warm and fuzzy movie girl. He does watch those with me all the time too.

2. Tell us something you cook or bake that gets him so happy.   Do you add something special that makes your recipe unique?
I love to bake for Allan. Some of his favorites are spice cake, pineapple upside down cake and apple pie. For the apple pie I make my own crust but I do a crumble topping that he LOVES. It is very easy to make too. Here's a link for the topping: http://www.food.com/recipe/streusel-crumb-topped-apple-pie-405448 
 
3. What does he wear to bed?
Usually cotton PJ pants or boxers.

4. Does he have or has he ever grown a beard or mustache?   Did/do you like it?
He grew out a goatee once. I liked it but he didn't because his facial hair is so coarse that it was always itchy. But other than that he has always been my clean shaven guy.


5. If they were going to make a movie of your husband, what actor would you pick to play him? 
Eddie Cibrian. Allan is tall dark and handsome like Eddie but my guy has big broad shoulders too. Allan has a really amazing smile and it reminds me very much of Eddie.

 

6. Who is neater around the house, you or him?  Give a sloppy example.
Me, definitely me. His sloppy example is his pocket contents. He will clean out his pockets and put things on the mantle, dresser, counter, etc... And some stuff usually gets left behind daily.

 
7. If you could buy him tickets to any concert (past, present or future), what musician/group would be singing or playing?

George Straight

8. Does he wear a wedding ring?  Do you care?
Yes, and he also has my name tattoo'd under his wedding band. That was his idea.

 
9. How old was he and how old were you on the day you met?  What else do you remember about that day?I think I was 25 and he was 35. We had spoken on the phone for weeks but this was going to be our first in person date. I was so nervous I almost didn't go, but I'm glad I did. He kissed me on the boardwalk in New Orleans and my heart flowed over right there with the mighty Mississippi River.  
 
10. If he is the one to choose an ethnic restaurant for dinner out, would it be Chinese, Indian, Mexican, French, Italian, Greek, or ... ?
Japanese - Sushi for sure

 
11. Is there a photo of him as a child that you find especially endearing?   Tell us about it.
Yes, but he was actually about 12 I think with a hammer in his hand. He had the best and most genuine smile....still does.
 
12. If you were going to choose a dress in a color just to please him, what color would it be?
Red, bright red with matching sexy red heels.

 
13. Do/did you love his mother?  Why or why not?
Yes I do love her, but she is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I wish we had a better relationship with her.

 
14. Name a famous person he really admires.
Ronald Reagan


 
15. Does your husband prefer coffee or tea?
Neither. I think he loves them both. He only drinks hot coffee, never iced coffee, but he loves sweet iced tea. We are from the south after all.

 
16. Does your man know how to dance?  Is it something you both enjoy?
Yes, but don't laugh. He learned most of it in country music bars while living abroad in the military. He's a great slow dancer but not so much the fast stuff.

Stranded

I am stranded today. My keys are in Allan's truck hours away and my car is sitting in the garage taking the day off. I do not like this Sam I am. But on another note I am getting some good reading in blog land today.

So give me some suggestions. Link your blog in the comments section or suggest one of your favorites. Tell me what you like about it too if you'd like.

Am I missing something?

So with the great cookie exchange, Love Our Lurkers, Etc... I am wondering if maybe there is a better way to connect with other bloggers or couples in the DD community. Does it just take time or is there some fantastic forum I am missing? Any comments will be appreciated.

The Spanking Timer

There is this place that I vacationed once. It wasn't my favorite vacation but in my mind I can still see myself there, in this one particular spot, standing and looking out over the calm water. I remember that in order to get to that place I had to walk along a very long narrow wooden pier. But as I walked I knew that there would be peace at the end. That is what discipline is like for me. Let me explain...

In my last post I talked about how I had a punishment spanking coming. But as it turned out we had a wonderful date night opportunity pop up unexpectedly and Allan took me out on the town. It was such a great night and early in the evening I had my suspicions that no spanking would be happening. Thankfully I was right and we spent a romantic date together doing all kinds of fun and Christmasy type things late into the night. Our weekend continued on as planned and I thought he had forgotten. I was wrong!

Last night we had just gotten the kids all put to bed and I was getting cozy on the sofa after a busy weekend. The show we were watching ended and I asked if he wanted to watch something else. But all he could say was "Bedroom now". Yikes! I complied. We went to the bedroom and he ordered the pajama pants and panties off. He started lecturing about how I had been so disobedient last week and he finally had the opportunity to deal with it. I knew I was about to get it. But then something different....his phone came out. He set the timer to ten minutes and told me to get over his knee. I crawled across his lap and grabbed a pillow to squeeze.

Now, a maintenance spanking probably wouldn't be so bad on a timer. But a punishment spanking, at least under Allan rule, had me crying Alligator tears about 7 minutes in. I squirmed and wiggled and kicked my way through it but there was no getting away from that timer. When it was over I was a sobbing mess and was thoroughly regretting not taking the nap I had been told to take. Nap Vs. the Timer equalls a no brainer.

So today I am still sore but much more focused on Allan, and in a much more subby place. I like it here because it is emotionally warm and cozy and and I feel much more calm and peaceful here! Kind of like walking down that pier. The view at the end is great!

Daddy's Belt, and why I need it!

Let me start off by saying that I am not a masochist. I do not enjoy pain in any way so there is no part of me that wants to be spanked for the pain. And when I say Daddy I am referring to my husband Allan. He's not my Father, but he is the HOH and Daddy in our home. So with those things aside let's talk about why I need Daddy's belt.

Here's a little background information. I was married once before right out of High School. I was an overachiever who was a CEO by 23 years old, and he was a man child. I do not say that with any disrespect for men, but this guy was a train wreck in regards to harnessing his masculinity. He did not take charge of anything, fix anything broken or keep a job. I was at times the sole bread winner and had to be on my A game all the time because of his short comings. I knew that I was unhappy and needed out badly. That marriage ended after a few years and life went on. But what stuck with me was the need for control.

Along comes Allan in my mid twenties. By this time I knew myself well enough to know I wasn't looking for a repeat. I wanted someone who could take the wheel and let me take a step back. Allan was my guy. Everything about him screamed dominant. He was at least a foot taller than me and a hundred pounds larger. Broad shoulders, Veteran Military, leadership position at work. He loved to spoil me and take care of me and for the first time ever I felt submissive. I was smitten! We got married, had a family and made a life.

Now back then I didn't know what submission was. I just knew we were in this wonderful dynamic where I loved caring for him and he took good care of me and our family. But as time went on things changed. Each time we would hit a hurdle in life my need to fix the situation came blazing back over and over again. Over time my need to control was back in full swing. I ran my household like a well oiled machine. To me that was justification for my need to control. There was just one problem with that....you can't have two bosses. Although I was the only one that needed to feel submissive, I was often volleying for control against Allan. What started as a great dynamic had turned into two very frustrated people.

Over time I realized how destructive this was. I realized that I was killing my own submissive spirit and that submission was something I needed VERY BADLY. As I told Allan "left to my own devices, I will rule the world". And I do not want that much responsibility no matter how much it might seem like it when I am racing for power to control whatever needs to be done around here.

These days I am a work at home wife and Mom. I still keep a clean house and try to over manage just about everything, but there is one exception. I am not allowed to over manage. Because Daddy has a belt that can yank me out of boss lady mode and force me to focus on my submission when needed.
Submission is critical for me and it is my choice. Not because I was brainwashed like some liberals might want to say, but because it actually makes me feel better, calmer and more peaceful. I choose this!

So here I sit knowing what is coming tonight. Yesterday I was doing my thing, stressing myself out in full blown clean the house, manage my job and kids mode. It wasn't going well because after days of this over the holidays I was exhausted. Allan calls from work and tells me to take a break and go lay down while the kids were napping. I agreed....but...... No I didn't do it I just kept plugging along with my chores until the kids woke up. He came home early and asked if I napped. I said yes to appease him. He's a smart guy and figured out pretty quickly that there was no pillow or blanket on the sofa.

Today I get a message from him to be ready tonight. I know what he means and I know that he sent it to me early in the day so I would think about it all day. It means punishment spanking for being dishonest. He always says that I won't care for myself unless he makes it happen and yes that is true. Maybe that is another aspect of submission. The internal desire to serve others puts us on the back burner. So despite what I want, I know what I need. And sometimes for lack of a better term it is to be put back in a submissive place.

Renee

Submitting Slowly

Today I had a heated discussion with Allan who felt like I was not trying very hard to submit. "But I am" I said. Actually, I said that then got very quiet as I plowed through fields of memories for the past few days thinking of how I felt like I was submitting but he didn't see it.

I KNOW I am a control freak. I get it! But just because it is taking me longer than some doesn't mean I don't want it. He wasn't mad. He just said that I was giving him mixed signals because on one hand I said I wanted this, but on the other hand I still take the reigns so tightly.

He went on to tell me that he does love the take charge side of me, but it doesn't mirror what I told him I wanted.

Am I destined to fail at this? I want to be a submissive wife, really I do. Really.

Renee