Friday, November 6, 2015

Exploring DD - My confusing feelings

I remember the first night we "opened the door" to DD. The next day was so strange for me. I woke up feeling calm. Over the next few nights we talked as openly as I could about how we felt, what was happening between us, and our expectations. So I know we are at the starting line here, but we have decided that for now we will practice DD in our own way. 

I heard Chelsea from on a podcast talk about how many couples practice DD in different ways. I think I agree it should not be a one size fits all situation. I suppose we are going to figure this out together, but my feelings are so jumbled up right now.

Allan has spanked me probably ten times so far, and my emotions are on a roller coaster. I have felt everything from the obvious "pain" to a new love and admiration for him. I have felt nervous, excited, aroused, safe, secure. So many more positives than negatives. Truthfully, I am so in awe of this man right now that sometimes my feelings catch me offguard. I think one of the most fascinating things so far has been watching the evolution of my vanilla husband. Was this in him all along?



  1. Hi Renee,
    ( I tried to email you but the link on your profile page doesn't seem to work. Nothing major I was just going to give you a bit of background on us before I commented to you )

    For us the first month of ttwd was so incredibly amazing. I felt all the same things you did, and then the second/third month I so desperately wanted to feel like I did at the start. Don't get me wrong I am not trying to be a negative nelly, heck we have been dong ttwd for over 3 years now so something must be good right? LOL

    I am just bringing this up to you *in case* you have a down day or patch. IT IS ALL NORMAL. Once the walls we have built up over time start to crumble, the exposure tends to make us a tad bit more emotional. Things that never bothered us before, ie, him watching football half a day on Sunday, seem crushing. It is okay though, because that just means you want your husband near you even more.

    There is a pendulum that swings wildly back and forth at times, which is ALL COMPLETELY normal! But hey, everyone is different and maybe you'll manage so much better than my friends and myself! LOL.

    Welcome to blogland!

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  3. Hi Willie,

    Thanks for your comment and I will check on the link. I love getting encouraging words from the TIH's I'm meeting, especially the ones who have done this for as long as you have. To be honest from all that I've read I am convinced we will definitely have a down patch. Just like anything else new I'm guessing the new will wear off and at that point we will have to find out how to cross that bridge.

    I think you definitely have some wisdom about the walls coming down and feeling more emotional. That is already happening! I hope to see you in blogland soon and get to hear more about your experiences!

    Thanks again,