The past two years of my life have been horrific. Two major issues came crashing down on my family and hung over us like dark rain clouds. There were days I felt paralyzed in fear. DD was a great distraction but I just could not possibly focus on my submission when I was having to be SO STRONG every minute. It was a complete disaster trying to embody both strength and submission in my own head. Maybe others can work that out, but I just couldn't. And I felt alone. I felt like no one could possibly understand what it was like to be facing such a massive giant, let alone two at once, like I was. I looked around at friends and family and envied their complaints about issues like money or weight loss. I questioned why me a thousand times.
So these two particular issues had no known expiration date. The future looked dim and I was depressed. But then, like a lightning bolt straight to my heart I received a phone call one day. It was a miracle, a MIRACLE BEYOND MIRACLES, and issue number one....my horrific nightmare, was suddenly, unexpectedly....O-V-E-R! I actually dropped to my knees and began sobbing the most wonderful warm tears of joy I've ever felt. I thanked God and I called my family one by one sharing the news. That day was a wonderful blur of thankfulness and joy. I feel like I have been an almost different person since that day. Stress is a very real thing and can remove you from the person you truly are. I am testament to that!
So yes, issue number two still remains. But now I have hope. Because when I tell you issue number one was at one time hope-LESS, I do not lie. Yay for life! Yay for hope!
And by the way YAY because I can now focus on my husband, and that my friends will surely bring some exciting days ahead!
Renee
HOW absolutely wonderful for you! I can actually relate so a great deal of this post. You should have shared earlier (though I know it is difficult) I bet you for a moment or two you might not have felt so alone.
ReplyDeleteHere is hoping something similar can happen with issue number 2!
willie
Thanks Willie, yes it was difficult because sometimes you just feel like nobody could possibly imagine. Sharing things like that has always been hard for me. I am hoping for a second miracle. Maybe I'll find that one a bit easier to share :)
Delete*to not so...urgh
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm praying for the same. But in the meantime the result of my miracle feels like almost a new me. Maybe I can get back to the joy I used to feel about the future!
ReplyDelete