For me the answer to that question has never been easy. Domestic discipline opened up so many doors for dialogue and communication for Allan and I. And over time I've found it a little easier to bring up uncomfortable subjects because I've learned to trust him. However, there are still times I worry about his reaction.
I consider myself a Christian woman, and I have my morals. So when I have these deep feelings wash over me when I am with Allan I don't often understand them myself and I worry if what I'm feeling is immoral. There have been many days I've looked in the mirror and thought "Girl, you need to set up an appointment with a Counselor". I haven't so far, but maybe one day I will. For now I'm "EXPLORING" my feelings.
So I have this thing for Authority. Huh, imagine that, a TIH who loves authority, LOL. And Allan is older than me. So I've found this respect and admiration that I have for him brings to light these strange feelings that I guess many in pop culture would call "Daddy Issues". Yep I've got them BAD.
I was not abandoned or neglected as a child. I wasn't ignored or belittled. In fact, I have a great relationship with my Father. But he was a soft spoken guy....not exactly the tough protector type. I guess I've just wanted that my whole life and I found it in Allan.
So one night I just tossed my fear out and called him Daddy, and OMG I loved it. All these things just started pouring out of me. He seemed to like it too. I know it's such a non-traditional and unusual thing but it's just happened and I'm processing it. It's honestly brought to light so many things I'm learning about myself. I never thought one little word could change me, but it did. I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there in blogland who feels the same?
But of course. You are not alone. The inscription on my ring is Daddy's Kitten and I love it.
ReplyDeleteYes, very much so. Nothing else seemed to fit except Daddy.
ReplyDeleteWell then, I guess I don't feel quite so alone, LOL. If the shoe fits......
ReplyDeleteI've recently been thinking about it, but for now, it remains just an endearment that is only uttered during sex, but I've contemplated trying it out on him, but am worried that he will freak out....haven't found my courage yet, tho, we have our first training/reconnection session coming up in a few weeks, and maybe we can discuss it then. I had a father who was not soft spoken, but quite verbally abusive, but I don't think my need to call him that in submission comes from that experience. Tho I'm not sure where it comes from if it comes from anything or any circustance, tho I never really delved into it.
ReplyDeleteHey Megan thanks for your reply. I feel so strongly about this now. It's opened up feelings for me that I', still trying to understand. I wouldn't worry. I would just tell him you would like to try it and see what he says. Who knows? Maybe he wants it too but is too afraid to ask. You never can tell!
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