Saturday, December 30, 2017

Reset and Reconnect

I'm still here. It's been a year since my last post. Life threw some mega curve balls my way but I made it through. We shelved DD while we were dealing with family issues, but now I'm ready to do it again. At least, I think most of me is. The problem is that after such an absence, how to restart and reconnect where we once were?

First of all I remember the embarrassed feelings that overcame me in the beginning. Learning to be submissive, talking in terms of rules... It was all so strange and after such a lapse I know it will be that way again. So I'm nervous.

Next I know my motivation to do this matters. Is it to strengthen my marriage? Is it to strengthen myself through losing myself in submission? It it a sexual motivation? Because it made our sex life better. But then again, it just made our whole relationship better. It was a marriage saver.

And finally, how will he react? DD is so much more than spanking so is he up for the leadership it takes in our relationship? Is he up for dealing with the very uncomfortable conversations to start over. And how do I reconcile in my own mind and heart that he is a man who is not perfect, yet I'm going to let control go anyway. I've been mad at him for various reasons. I'm not sure if the anger will go away faster with DD or make it worse. I just remember how it healed before.

So many things are running through my head. Can this lifestyle really work long term? I wish it would.

I need support. Comment, email me. I remember having support from you guys once. I need it again.


  1. Hey Renee

    I hope things work out for you again. I know when we 'paused' Dd- though it was never for any great length of time like a year, our issue was remembering what it was like in the past. For us we both remembered different things. I think the only advice based on what we went through is- don't try to 'go back'. Life changes us all. Go forward with the feeling of knowing ttwd has worked before and the hope it will again, but nothing in life is ever the same twice- nor should it be.

    I am sure it is safe to say you are not the same people you were a year ago. That is okay. Remember to be easy not only on him but yourself as well. Just because you lived this life before, doesn't always make it any easier on you the second time around.

    I don't mean to sound doom and gloom! LOL. Sounds like you don't expect to pick up exactly where you left off anyway.

    Best of Luck to you.


  2. Hi Renee,
    I am fairly new to blogging so this is my first time at your blog. I will read back further to get to know you better. I know how hard the it is to do this without a support network and am venturing out myself in this way. I would be happy to be a support to you in your journey and would appreciate the same from you as well. It's not easy and there are ups and downs as you well know. My husband J and I had stopped at one point during my pregnancy last year and it was a very lonely and painful time for me as I fleshed out my need for this and then tried to explain it to him once again. I wish you the best in your attempt to bring this to your husband again. My suggestion would just be to talk quietly together and really have a heart to heart whenever the moment is conducive to connecting.
    I can identify with what you said about giving up control even though your man is not perfect- isn't that the hardest!
    We trust though we know that our partner isn't faultless and as long as we are both working towards the same goal we will get there.
    One advantage we had when we restarted is that we weren't exactly "newbies" anymore. We had an idea of what worked and what didn't work to begin from.
    Good luck to you both. I will cheer you on from my corner of blog land.